Serious analysis of ridiculous subjects

Here you will find advanced statistical analysis applied to utterly nonsensical topics. What is the most depressing song by Radiohead? How do sports mascots' physical combat abilities correlate to their teams' success? Do NFL offensive linemen pancake their opponents more often when the stadium is closer to an IHOP?

All these questions and more will be answered with the utmost statistical rigor and have absolutely zero bearing on any real world outcome. Each analysis will be accompanied with detailed tutorials and code samples; so despite our best efforts, you may actually learn something.